Thanksgiving brings along with it a season that we all cherish. Who doesn’t love Thanksgiving? It’s the only holiday where we truly get to enjoy our time with our loved ones and get to eat so much that we pass out, but wake up just in time to see the Patriots destroying the Jets by 40 this coming Thursday.
But besides all the fun love on this very exciting holiday, lets not forget the different types of people we are most likely going to encounter. Of course these are the people that you only see once or twice a year when a holiday comes around-but that is more than enough!
The Annoying Baby
Somehow between now and last thanksgiving someone thought it was smart to give your crazy family member a child to take care of. Of course the person is not at all qualified to take care of themselves, let alone another human being.
This is the baby who won’t eat anything, cries throughout all of dinner, shits everywhere and then manages to throw up in your lap. There will be nothing cute about this baby until he finally falls asleep. A terrible showcase of parenting.
The Wasted Uncle
We all have that uncle in our family who is a complete drunk. The guy decides to get completely trashed during every family gathering and manages to fall asleep on the couch one hour after dinner. There’s also a huge chance this guy says no less than twenty super offensive things throughout the day, but that’s just part of his crude charm.
Either get trashed with the guy or stay far away because you never know when he might puke or start telling you war stories. He’s never actually been to war.
The Nosey Grandma
Grandmas are sweet, who doesn’t love their grandma? They are really the only voice of reason when your parents fail at parenting. But there is that one time a year- usually thanksgiving- when she starts getting a bit too nosey.
She’ll try to figure out whom you are sleeping with and what the hell you are going to do with your life. Why aren’t you married? Still working as a waiter? Didn’t you want to be a doctor? Not anymore? You sure?
The She Must Have Married Him For Money
We all have that one family member which within the last year has decided to invent the next Google and made a ton of money from it. So of course when he comes to thanksgiving dinner this year he is going to bring his incredibly hot girlfriend.
Clearly the girl is way out of his league and is not by his side because she things he is a nice guy. Worst of all, they will be talking about all the fancy places they have traveled the whole time allowing you to feel depressed about having stayed in the tri-state area for most of your life.
The Dark Horse Of The Family
It could either be the teenager who decides to run off in the middle of dinner to smoke weed or the guy who is in his 30s and has done nothing with their life.
Both will tell you that they have changed and they are taking their life in the right direction, yet they manage to sneak away 30 mins after the food is served because they are no longer hungry and don’t feel the need to socialize. It’s not to say that this person is most likely the most hated out of the whole family. Just the odd ball.
The Person With The Extreme Political Views
Yes it was just the election and we thought all these political debates would end as soon as the election did, but of course this is the one guy that doesn’t agree with anyone and will start the biggest argument at the table and ruin everyone’s evening. This will leave everyone pissed and most likely make everyone want to go home early.
The Couch Sleeper
They either decided to go out on Thanksgiving eve or managed to catch the itisfrom eating so much turkey. This person can be anyone and every year it’s usually someone different but there is nothing funnier than finding them passed out on whatever couch they saw first. Let the prank wars begin.
The Honorable Mentions
The guy who rented that expensive car he pulled up in.
The terrified girlfriend/boyfriend you decided to bring to dinner.
The extreme football fan.
The overly dressed family member. This isn’t a fashion show last time I checked.
The newly divorced family member (cry me a river).
The cousin that got hot out of no where.
Preston Waters | Elite.
